Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I think the cats out of the bag...

I think since this is a weight loss blog I can assume that we're all fat here. Or were once fat. Recovering fataholics if you will.

If you in fact you were never fat (liar) than I apologize for my brashness but I would like to share a few photos and their mutually offensive comments with my very large (4 followers, one of which is me) group of fans.

I had ran into a techincal difficulty when powering up the ole scanner. So I used a poor mans scanner (taking a picture of a picture) so that these could be posted sometime before I retire.

So my friends I take you back... To a time and a photo that I think exemplifies my relationship with food.

I was one here. It was forth of July. My mother put me on the table in front of food to keep me quiet. This trick still works today.

I wasn't always fat you know. I don't think it really started to creep up on me until the age of six. This is the first "chubby picture" I found of myself. And I remember looking at it and knowing I was bigger than most of the other kids. I specifically remember seeing this picture and wanting, so badly to be smaller. I tried really hard to remember where that idea of "smaller is better" was implanted in me and I can't for the life of me figure it out.

I am the first one on the left. Top row. Notice the uncanny resemblance to my teacher. The turtle neck that exemplifies my round little face. Tucked in, of course, to parachute pants. Tight on the ankles loose in the hips. Just the way I liked em ;)

This next one.... well lets take a deep breath and prepare....

did you take one...

don't cheat now...

Ok... This next one displays my second favorite fashion DON'T for young chubby bunnies like myself... The first of which was of course parachute pants. Yuk.

I've searched online and polled friends to find out the name of this 1990's swim suit fashion staple, but no one seems to have an answer.

I've gotten several great names. The "fauxkini". The "monokini". But no one knows the actual name of these things or further more if they can still be purchased.

I would love to take my before and after photos in one of these bad boys. I'm just sayin.

Ok you can't really get the full effect unless viewed from the front. Unfortunately (or not depending on how you look at it) I couldn't seem to round one up. The beauty of this little number is that it's a bikini that is joined at the sides like a one piece, creating this oval cut out that frames a Buddha belly perfectly. Cute when you're two yes. Not when you're ten.

I'm just going to throw this next one out there.

Yes I'm round, but mostly I thought that this third grade picture was a sort of emarassment of riches. The enormous glasses. The waterfall wave bangs. The flannel shirt. Buttoned all the way up. It's a good time. This is what memories are made of people.

I'm sure I have some gems from more recent times and I'll get to them. In the mean time I'm going to post these.

The two happiest days of my life... thus far :)

My graduation.

And my wedding day.

Just to end on a happy note xox

Stay skinny girls!


  1. In the class picture, I'm the one on the bottom row, 3rd from the right. hahahaha just sayin'...

    Thanks for sharing these photos, even if it is only for us "4", you included.

    God I love your humor girl, you're the best!!!

    And you're right, I wouldn't have found or be reading your blog unless I was eff...ay...tee!!!
    There, I said it! LOL


  2. Beautiful wedding photo by the way!

  3. Isn't it funny how completely relateable a first grade picture is to just about everyone ;)

    Thank you for the plethora of compliments you provide me. I want to shrink you down and carry you in my pocket every day :)

  4. I was always the biggest kid in my classes as a kid growing up, but really, I always thought the skinny kids were the freaky ones. Of course, they all grew up to look hot in their bikinis, while I was still showing off my Buddha belly in my monokini.