Wednesday, July 28, 2010

So far so good.

Be humble. Stay positive. That's my motto.

Here's where my Greattrainer stats are:

1.78 miles
34.36 minutes
3.08 mph avarage speed

2.03 miles
37.43 minutes
3.23 mph

Ugh. I'm not going to lie.
Today I felt like a lump of junk.
I was super tired, sleeping in over an hour.
I was useless the entire day.
Had next to nothing appetite.
Didn't come close to eating all of my veggies.
On the positive I did drink over my 8 glasses of water
...and choked down my vitamins.
So I'm not all as bad as I claim to be.

I thought I was going to skip out on the walk today, but God was yapping in my ear so I listened and peeled my ass off the couch.

I've discovered this about myself in the last 24 hours.
1. I really enjoy walking at night.

2. I would love to be one of those bad asses who goes for a run not walk. Complete with the little shorts and all. (I wonder if their thighs rub together in those?)

3. A great playlist on my ipod and my ability to exercise are mutually inclusive.

4. I really need another sports bra.

5. And a shower.

I'm hoping I can keep a hold on my sanity through all of this. Or. If I cannot keep it, at least turn this whole part of my life into a giant game of dominoes where I just have to push myself around the corner and the rest just falls effortlessly into place.

God please hear me. and without breaking into song or having anyone lose their lunch over this, I dare say "Jesus take the wheel". Because it's going to take something Holy to keep me on track.

“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.”
Robert Collier

I don't know if this is the period talking, but in the greatest act of kindness ever, my fantastic husband stopped on his way home from work to get me....

wait for it...

a rotisserie chicken. delicious and carb free. I love that man <3

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I heart carbs.

It's only week one and I am breaking promises. Tisk Tisk.

I think I have a viable excuse though. I think.

Here's the story...

So I have this cousin, who is a wonderful and lovable and glorious in everyway. She used to be a skinny mini softball star or something like that. Now she's a forty something mother of four who I swear has 36 hours in her day, not like the 24 of us mere mortals.

Years of taking care of everyone else and ignoring herself eventually caught up with her. She had major anxiety over her weight. Self-hating trash-talking ugliness about her weight.

I've often said I feel bad for those fat people who were, at one time skinny. They seem to be overly traumatized by their weight in ways that I, having ALWAYS been chubby, am not. It's not to say that I am "fat and happy". I'm just not haunted about it. I have nothing to compare it to.

She was my go to girl for just about everything. We clung together at family functions and made jokes at the skinny peoples expense over a plate of ham rolls.

Last year all that changed. She went and got skinny on me. Yep. My go to girl. One of them.

Since we live a good thousand miles apart and only see each other a couple times a year, the first time I saw her it hit me like a ton of bricks. WOW. She looked so great!!!! I'll admit my joy for her was slightly overshadowed by envy.

But envy is just an ugly emotion without motivation. I am sad to say I am a motivationally challenged girl.

Fast forward a year and someone's lit a fire under my ass. Now I want that. I want someone to look at me and have a wow moment.

So I'm doing it. Hopefully not so slowly, but definitely surely.

I'm willing to take dramatic measures. Like take a multivitamin. Even though I gag.

And go for a power walk EVERYDAY. Even though I only own one sports bra.

And eat healthy. Even though I have dreams about all things battered.

I spent all day Monday focusing on my food intake. Researching. Learning. (thus the lack of post) and I am ready. I'm ready to stop using excuses and just do it for Pete's sake!

Now if you'll excuse me, my sports bra is calling my name.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Let there be cake.

I'm exhausted.

Birthday party for my nephew.

ice cream.
very yummy.

feeling very guilty.

did take a walk with Mom and her mini dog tonight though. 17 minutes not 30. huh. some is better than none.

Monday's a new day.
This weekend is carbfest <3.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Today I...

Today I...

Slept in until 9:30 which at first I felt guilty about. And then I felt too rested to feel guilty. Well that's settled

Found this verycool app for Blackberry (which I'm sure is available on every other smartphone so check an iphone/droid near you). It's called Greattrainer and I must say for a free app it's living up to its name.

So you start this bad boy up and select the type of activity you want to do. For me, "walk" for you over achievers, "run". You wait for it to find a GPS signal. Hit start. And go!

It tracks the distance, pace and time of your walk. Fantastic! I have just a few comments:

1. It has a calories burned counter, but you can't change your weight, so it's probably calculated based on a 130lb girl (which I am not) so it's not really accurate.

2. It has a handy feature which talks out loud how far you've gone in 1/2 mile incriments, but it interupts my Pandora app from playing music and I have to go into Pandora to unpause my song.

*** For those of you who are not in the know, Pandora is the most wonderful of wonderful FREE internet radio apps you can download on your smartphone. Always a new mix, you can customize stations, and there are no bratty radio hosts or male enhancement commercials to intterupt your fitness groove. You can also visit the Pandora website to listen to in on your home computer <3

3. There is supposedly an internet site that works in tandem with the Greattrainer app, of which you can upload your walk info and get maps and such, but I spent 25 minutes trying to figure it out and gave up. The Blackberry app is just fine for me. I need to keep it simple.

My stats:
32.54 minutes
1.67 miles
avg speed 3.04 mph
I guess we know who's a tortoise and not a hare. But at least I got off my ass. And truthfully I feel good.

All in all quick setup, ease of use, and overall wonderfulness of Greattrainer means it gets a thumbs up from me :)

I'm going to try to fit in 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity a day because I know its good for my heart and blah blah blah.
It's just a good idea.
Lets leave it alone.
30 minutes.
Even if it's in three 10 minute spurts.

Today I...

Ate chinese food for breakfast. It's awful. I know. It was left over from last night's dinner and I didn't have the heart to throw it away.

But I also had...
a protien bar
a banana
some strawberries

So it's not a total loss.
Compared to what I eat on a normal day today was golden.

Today My Adventure Begins...

Well technically it started 3 days ago at midnight while I was cruising the internet, eating a muffin.

Or when I was 16 and joined Weight Watchers.

Or when I was 19 and Joined Weight Watchers again.

Or when I was 21 and signed up for a charity 60 mile walk... that I never finished.

Or this past January when some girlfriends, my husband, and myself signed up for... wait for it... Weight Watchers. The third time.

All my life I've been, as my mother puts it, "a big girl". It's something I would say I struggled with, but never let dominate me. Since it's always been who I am I've grown quite comfortable with it. You know, in that i-say-i'm-comfortable-but-really-i-wouldn't-really-mind-weighing-100-lbs-less kind of way.

I'd like to tell you that my childhood was tortured and I had no friends, but that wasn't the case. Sure, some kids poked fun, made the occasional fat joke, but all-in-all my adolescence was splendid. I was very social, popular even. Had many friends, a few really fantastic best friends. I spent my days running, biking, and climbing, like any other active kid. Got my first serious boyfriend at 15. Lost my virginity at 16. Married at 24.

I always thought I was ok looking. Didn't have any major deformities. Like every girl, I had my pretty days.

Some others thought so too. To an extent.

If I had a dollar for every time someone said...
"You have such a beautiful FACE Sandra!", "You're eyes are breathtaking, if you were a little thinner you could be so pretty!", "Have you ever thought about dieting? You are beautiful, but you would really be something if you exercised just a little."

Well if I had a dollar I would hire a personal trainer... that I would end up making friends with, who I would take to the best bakery in town and buy a slice of red velvet cake. Everyone likes red velvet cake.

I think that's part of my problem. I really, truly, most undeniably love food. I love the taste. I love the smell. And there is nothing more beautiful than food. Really. The texture, the color, the way the light dances off of the caramelized sugar on a ramekin full of crème brulée. I ask you, what could possibly be more beautiful then that?

Hopefully, me naked.

Which brings me crashing back to reality and to my objective for this blog.

I need to become more healthy. For obvious reasons, as well as some that I'm sure I will get into later on down this blog.

Also... I'm not going to lie... I would like to be hot. Smokin' hot. For very selfish reasons yes, but also for my loving, wonderful, and forever patient husband. He deserves a hot wife.

So please join me. Here. Every freaking day. To hold me accountable. Comment. Excessively even. I need it.

In return I, Sandra "not so skinny girl" Bridges promise to tell you everything. All of the embarrassing things I try. All of the yummy, and not so yummy, things I choke back. Every cheat, every win. Everything. Everyday.

Lets assess in one year. I have a hard time with goals so I'm going to think outside the box on this one and set periodic checkpoints.

The first being in 6 weeks... which would be September 3rd for those without a calender. I've taken beginning measurements and well as a beginning weight. Both of which horrify me.

So here is what we're going to do. Since I'm not quite ready to let those numbers out in public, I will post current, as well as starting numbers at my six week checkpoint. Rain or shine. Hell or high water. Even if I fall off the weight loss wagon into a pool of cheesecake filling and wind up fatter than before I began. I promise.

Here's to smaller jeans!



P.S. Please don't be afraid of the word fat. I am not. People seem to gasp and grab ahold of their children's ears when they hear the word. F-A-T. Fat. Fatty. Say it. It's good for you.