Monday, September 6, 2010

I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation...

And that's such an awesome thing.

I'm on a mini vacation/ family visit which normally would spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E for a weight loss plan. Because we love each other with food. Sugary. Full fat. Wonderful food. This is fact.

But I happen to have the most wonderful understanding rezilliant adaptable family in the world and since they all know about my battle with food and excercize they decided to make this time different.


After a nine hour ride and a sizable nap we all headed out for a bike ride.

Disclaimer: I have not ridden a bike since I was ten years old with the exeption of a very cool (very senior citizen style) leasure bike around my aunts retirement community in Phoenix this past February.

So as we're loading the bikes onto the trailer, my cousin very CASUALLY mentions that the trail we're going to be biking is 17 miles.

17 miles!!!

I started to have heart palpitation at the thought... the sweats set in and  I peed a little in my underpants.

She soon began to justify it by saying it was mostly downhill and it was a very leisurely ride.

Well. Leisurely wouldn't have been my choice of words exactly.

You can view my mountain here. That's right I said mountain.

I will say that it was quite a bit down hill. But not completely. And surprisingly I was more prepared than I thought. Turns out riding a bike is just like... well riding a bike.

But I was much more prepared than my ass was (I think I now know what it's like to have a rectal exam and pap smear simultaneously). Also, I couldn't get the hang of shifting into lower/higher gears for like the first five miles. Which I'm sure contributed to my pain.

And honestly it really didn't matter how downhill it was because the constant changing terrain of the trail and small muddy patches kept me peddling most of the time.

I was named most likely to take a dive on my bike by my family. I will say that I was not the first to go down. I was the second. And I wanted to cry like a bitch. But I didn't. View my battle wounds below.
It felt worse than it looked. Trust me.

Just in case any of you decide to bike down the Creeper Trail at Whitetop I have a tiny piece of advice. Tiny. If you see this:

hmmmm bad omen?

Please listen. Do not ride over the barricade netting because you may be forced to do this:

Carrying/ Pushing our bikes around bridge under construction

We had to carry or push our bikes across not one. Not two. But Three bridges that were down or under construction. Some of which required balancing (in which I do not excel) on a six inch wide board and shimmying across a hole. An adventure sure, but I'm kind of a delicate girl.

Thankfully I wasn't hauling ass quite as much as some of the teenagers which for my sake meant I didn't end up like this:

he didn't see the hole in front of him until he was in it

Thankfully I was spared at a mere 13 miles due to lack of daylight. And let me just clarify. When I say "lack of daylight" what I mean is the complete and total absence of any sort of light. Did we have flashlights? No. Bike lights? Nada. And FYI reflective clothing is only reflective if there is light to shine on it.

Riding my bike in the dark down a bumpy trail (that I was only following based on feeling of the terrain beneath my tires) while bats and other creatures of the night were flying overhead was the most exhilarating part of the day. We literally could not see two feet in front of us. The leader would yell "BUMP" and "BRIDGE" as he passed over them and we would repeat them, telephone style, to the back of the line so everyone was prepared.

 It was... the most miraculous display of teamwork ever. And it basically it made my day.

Two days later now, it still hurts to sit. But a little less. And my husband is still removing his testicles from his colon, but I think in a year or two (when his wounds are a little less fresh) he may come with me again.

I also managed to walk two miles last night in spite of my wounds. Which lights up my life 

I'm learning it's Ok to be proud of yourself. Its more gratifying than waiting for others to be proud of you. But it's even more awesome when they are proud of you too.

I promise, to you and myself, to keep eating well, and keep moving on this vacation. Even if it means I'll need a vacation from my vacation :)

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